


Insane

by kaliwtf



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: 1d, 50 Shades of Grey - Freeform, Death, Drama, F/M, Friendship, Harry Styles - Freeform, Heartbreak, Love, Music, Relationship(s), Sad, Suspense, insane, one direction - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-19
Updated: 2014-07-25
Packaged: 2018-01-25 17:44:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 12
Words: 16,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1656947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaliwtf/pseuds/kaliwtf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cara, Zoe and Ava are three best friends that screw up once in their need of freedom and all their life turns upside down. After meeting the young criminal Harry Styles, things will change for everyone. And what if love stands in the way of their crimes?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"SING IT, EVERYONE, LET ME AND JESUS HEAR YOU!" shouted our tutor. We were in a huge hall, on the first floor of the school we were all in. I was a part of the religious committee to obey my parents' wishes. I wasn't troubled and i was almost a straight A student, but they put me in this club "just to be sure that i won't take the wrong path", as my mother said.

 

\- "Cara!" I abruptly looked up at the tutor, whose name i hadn't even remembered even though i was in his class for 6 whole weeks. - "Come on, let me hear you!" He told me enthusiastically. His face was scarlet red from passion. Our club consisted of 17 people. Some were geeks, theatrical kids, others were popular ones. We were all pretty different but getting along, as it is expected from students in a religious club. We were all sat in circle on the floor, listening to our professor.

 

\- "Love is the key of life!" He started, clenching his fists. "We are all here, put together, to be a part of something. A family. Amen!" He spread out his hands towards us everyone started singing and repeating "amen", clapping hands and smiling to one another. I didn't. Everything seemed odd and wrong. Spring break was coming and we were all stuck in this shitty place, in a big but boring city. I was eager to run away but i didn't know what i wanted. I didn't know what to do and hat it was that i was missing exactly. I hugged my knees with my arms and put my chin on the top of them, impatiently waiting for the lecture to end.

 

Once we finished, i stood up quickly and i was the first to get out of the room. I'm sure they all saw me and i admit that it was rude but i didn't really care. The only thing on my mind was the break and the life i wanted to have. That other life.

 

I walked out of the building, feeling the chill night air of Los Angeles. People call this city the "City of Angels". But there isn't anything angelic in a place where you're forcefully kept.

 

The wind was slightly blowing and i covered my back and arms with my vest and pulled out a cigarette of the back pocket of my black already ripped jeans. Unlike my parents, i wasn't religious. I had my own and very different beliefs but at the age of 15 i had figured that the less i argue with my mom and dad, the less they will try to make me be a person i didn't want to be. I wanted to drop out of school, to go on a trip, to find myself. That was why i couldn't stand this city anymore, but i couldn't do anything about it.

 

I slowly walked my way to the bus stop, the smoke coming out of my mouth in small circles. I heard a beep behind me and i turned to see my friends Ava and Zoe in Ava's mom's old red car.

 

\- "Need a ride?" Called out Zoe. Her pink locks were in her mouth because of the wind and the fast speed that she had the habit to ride in. She pulled on a sly smile and put her elbow on Ava's shoulder.

 

\- "Sure. Thanks." I hopped into the back of the car and all I remember after that was my friends’ laughter and the city lights blinding me as they drove me home.

 

 

 

 

I headed to the campus. The wind was blowing stronger than the other day, making the trees dance. The sun was setting and the parking lot in front of the school was half empty. I slowly walked my way to class where the students had already taken their seats and had gotten ready for the last period of the day. I heard some shitty music playing somewhere off behind me. There were trashed cans and tissues all over the entrance of the room and as I tried not to step on any, I took the side stairs and went up to my seat.

 

 

After a few minutes the teacher came in and the room got quiet. The silence grew even bigger when he started opened his laptop and turned his laptop on. Some kids holding their books, probably coming from the cafeteria, got in and quickly sat down. I turned around and saw Ava and Zoe sitting behind me, their seats being on the row above mine. Zoe winked at me and I rolled my eyes. They were both always in that excited state and I couldn't understand how could someone be so careless all of the time. I admired them for that. Ava had dark brown hair and she was wearing her bright read lipstick and Zoe had her cross necklace on her neck, not wearing any make up and looking so innocent, no one would even tell what was actually going on in her mind. They were both in white crop tops and black shorts, almost looking like twins. Ava, Zoe and I were from the same town – Indiana. We grew up together and when we were little our parents moved in Los Angeles and we were like best friends ever since. After the three of us turned 18, our families went back to Indiana, leaving us in LA to study and go to college. These two friends of mine were trouble, but I guess that that was what I needed. 

 

I hear Zoe whispering something to Ava :

 

\- “We gotta get the fuck out of here.”

\- “I know.” Replied Ava.

 

 

By the end of the period, half of the students had fallen asleep on their desks and as the bell rang we all made our way to the exit. I waited outside for my friends, leaning on the white wall and smiling politely at everyone that had noticed me while walking out of. When Ava and Zoe finally came, they tugged me by the hands and we went to the parking where their car was. We got inside and drove to our dorm flat.

 

Once in our flat, I threw my bag on the floor and sat on Ava’s lap. She was faster than me and she was already sat on the couch, lighting up a cigarette. Zoe took her toy gun out of the drawer and poured vodka in it. She held the gun up and squeezed the drink into her mouth, smiling. I reached out to my phone and put on some rap music, leaning against Ava’s chest, her hand hugging me by the waist.

 

We were wasted and bored beyond belief. It was Friday night and we had no idea what to do. I sat up and left the girls in the flat, going to the room next to ours, hoping that our roommate was there. We needed money. I knocked and after a few seconds a short black haired girl opened the door. Her hair was braided and she was wearing her pajamas, an annoyed expression on her face.

 

\- “Cara, what do you want? It’s late..” She said in a low tired tone.

\- “I need money.”

\- “What for?”

\- “You know what.”

She sighed and shook her head, smiling, gesturing for me to go inside. I stepped into her flat and she shut the door behind me.

 

\- “Are you going to do something for the spring break?” She asked.

\- “ I don’t know yet.” I replied disappointed of my own answer. “Ava, Zoe and I are probably going to go somewhere.”

The girl took her purse out of her bag and looked up at me, sighing again.

 

\- “Be careful.”

\- “Why?”

\- “Because those

girls are creepy.”

\- “No, why would you say say that?

\- “They're so cold. Mean.”

\- “No, I've known them since kindergarten.

They're nice.”

\- “They don't seem right, though.

I hope you pray down there wherever it is you three are going.” She gave me a serious look and gave me $10.

\- “Is that all you have?” I asked. She nodded and I thanked her, walking out of her flat. We weren’t friends, we just knew each other from the religious club, so I was feeling comfortable with asking her for money. She was never saying no.

 

Going back to our flat, I saw Zoe and Ava lying on the floor, giggling, apparently already wasted. I couldn't help but to laugh quietly, they were like little kids. They saw me coming and put their hands up, trying to reach out for me. I sat next to them , cross legged. The sat up too. Zoe put a blanket around us three and rested her head on my shoulder. The other girl took the $10 out of my hands and counted it with the other bills in her head. She then tossed the small pile of money on the floor, a surprised expression on her face.

 

\- “Spring break is in a few days, ya’ll.” She whined. “These money will only be enough for one night in a hotel down there in Florida! We can't be miserable. We have to get out of here.”

 

\- “Are we going to Florida?” I asked.

 

They both nodded.

 

\- “I got another thirty in my purse, we can add them?” I naively said. Zoe scoffed. They both looked depressed.

 

Suddenly Ava’s face brightened. She turned to Zoe and asked :

 

\- “Can we borrow your dad’s old car?”

\- “No.”

\- “We can get the money, I know how!”

 

We both looked up at her and I was slightly scared of what she might suggest to do.

 

\- “Well even if I wanted to let you get the car, I couldn't, it’s in the shop.”

\- “Fuck..”

There was a small pause before a small playful smile grew on Zoe’s face.

 

\- “I do know where the professor hides his keys to that crappy car of his though.”

 

\- “Of course you do.” I laughed. There was no way in hell that a girl like Zoe wouldn’t know everything about every single boy and man that she had ever met. She was just that kind of girls, using them for pleasure and her own goods.

 

 

The three of us sat up and I took our flat keys. We went out and I locked the door. Ava and I followed Zoe all the way down to the campus without asking her anything. Ava was chewing her gum so loudly, it was a habit of hers and she was only doing it when she was nervous which didn’t make me any calmer.

 

We found ourselves at the parking lot for the second time this day. There was no one, the only light was coming from the cars on the side road. We went to the backyard of the school and Ava made us go through a tiny path, leading to something like an abandoned workshop.

 

\- “Here.” Said the pink haired girl satisfied.

I was confused and apparently I had made it pretty obvious because Zoe laughed and pointed with her finger at a dirty rug and told me to lift it up. When I did I saw a pair of keys and I took them in my hands.

 

\- “Spring break, here we come.” I whispered.

 

 

There was no one around. No cameras. No nothing. With Zoe’s help w found the professor’s car and unlocked it. Once we were in, Ava asked :

 

\- “’What’s the plan?”

The other girl didn’t say anything for a moment. She turned the engine on and we drove down the highway until she spoke:

 

-“ Just pretend like it’s fucking video game. Act like you’re a movie.” She gave us a hard look. “You can’t be scared of nothing. “

 

She then reached down to the duffel bag in her feet and handed us identical pink masks with two holes for the eyes and one bigger for the mouth. The car slowed down its pace as we got closer to a coffee shop. No explanation was needed, Ava and I knew exactly what we were about to do.

 

-“Let’s just take that cash and go to spring break, ya’ll.”

 

We put on our masks and I went out of the car with Zoe, leaving Ava on the steering wheel.

 

We ran into the shop, holding toy guns in our hands and yelled :

 

\- “Hands in the air, nobody moves, down everyone, down!”

 

There were approximately twenty people In the coffee shop, most of them middle aged. They seemed in complete shock. It wasn't fear that I was feeling in my stomach. I was both excited and inadequate. The fat old cashier stood behind the counter, frozen. Another black old man was sitting alone in the corner, near the back door of the shop. Zoe ran to the cash register and slammed it with a sledgehammer while I was taking the other client’s money and wallets, pointing the play gun to their head, making sure no one was able to run away or call out for help. The energy was rampant. We were fully charged and ran out of the shop, swiftly hopping back into the car. Meanwhile, Ava had driven the car to the back side so we would escape faster. We felt like we were in control.

 

\- “Move, move , move!!” We screamed and Ava hit the gas pedal.

 

We were laughing, not believing what we had just done. It seemed so easy and natural. Except that I wasn’t. We were screwed. We hadn’t seen the cameras, hadn’t consider the road police either. We were screwed.

 

We heard the loud obnoxious noise of the police sirens behind us. When the officers finally made us pull the car out, the forcefully got us out and slammed us against the doors, putting handcuffs on our wrists. Everything else went by in a blur until they drove us to the police station.

 

The sun was rising and the rays of it’s light were peeking through the window of the court. I was tired and scared, Zoe and Ava were just taken by surprise by how the things got turned out to happen. We were standing up, next to each other, a couple of people sitting behind us and the judge right in front of us. He sat behind the tribune and spoke :

 

\- “Spring breakers?” He sighed. “You three will not be charged for the stolen car, as it wasn’t a breaking and entering. You obviously had keys, and considering this, you can’t be arrested for it.” I breathed deeply in relief.

 

\- “You will be held in the arrest though, for robbery and violence.” I looked up again to him. Zoe took my arm in hers and looked down to her feet, closing her eyes and shaking her head. “Unless someone pays your fine, you will be restrained for a week and then sent to the tribunal.” With that, he announced the end of the proceedings and walked out of the room. Three policemen came again and brought us to our holding cell.

 

The cell was tiny, cold, its walls covered in scratches. There was one bed in the corner and two benches. Ava had fallen asleep, curled up on the bed. I was lying under the bench that was attached to the ceiling and Zoe was sitting on it, covered in a dirty blanket. We were still wearing the same clothes that we had worn the day before that and we were freezing. This wasn’t what I thought spring break would be like. I wanted to go places, discover things about myself and my friends, meet people. I was tired of seeing the same things every day. Of Everybody's miserable face. Of waking up in the same bed, in the same house, the same dull street light falling onto my eyes. Soon everyone would be out of town. The girls and I would be the only ones stuck where we’ve always been. We were 18, our parents weren’t here to help us out. They probably weren’t going to find out about this situation, at least not until our final court judgment.

 

Suddenly a female guard came and opened the main door, the sound of the metal lock getting unlocked waking Ava up. A few moments later, a black chubby police officer came holding a boy with his right arm. More like pulling him. He was obviously struggling with keeping the boy calm, he was moving his handcuffed arms to shove the officer away. Once he was finally put in his ceiling that happened to be right in front of ours, a small pathway separating us, the cop locked the boy behind the bars and sighed.

 

\- “You’re here for a reason. Don’t make your situation worse than it already is, young boy.” Then he left. Zoe and Ava were so exhausted, they didn’t even have the slightest amount of curiosity to ask the boy who he was or what had he done. They just hugged each other, sitting on the floor and drifting away again.

The boy in the other cell smiled carelessly, as if he didn’t care that he was arrested. He sat down, leaning his back against the cold ceiling, looking down to his hands, playing with the golden ring on his finger. I was standing up and holding the metal bars in my fists, observing the arrested guy. I couldn’t see the boy’s face clearly though. He was tall, brown haired and curly, but his hair was messy and his clothes looked worn out. Black skinny jeans, whitened in the knee caps area and a black tan top. He had tattoos on one of his forearms, one of them being a birdcage. I found myself starring at him and when he noticed me, he turned his face and smirked. A large tattoo of two swallows was peeking through his top. When I finally realized that he was starring back at me I opened my mouth to say hi but at that exact moment, the same female guard came again and walked up to me.

 

\- “You three were directed to the local community centre. You will be following the Community Payback scheme for the whole week that’s coming, starting tomorrow.” She gave me a serious, almost threatening look, but I had the feeling that she was just sorry for us.

She turned on her heel but stopped and pointed her finger at the curly boy :

 

\- “Watch out Styles. Don’t bring them any trouble, they have a chance to get out of here soon, unlike you.”

He chuckled, not moving his eyes off of me and said :

 

\- “No, I think they might stay here for a while.” His voice was low and his smile had disappeared.

The guard just sighed and left.

 

I looked right in his eyes, hoping that it would make him feel uncomfortable and he’d move his gaze away from me, but that didn’t happen. If anything, I think it only made him more interested in whatever he found interesting in me.

 

\- “What are you here for?” I found the courage to ask. He smiled lightly at me.

\- “I don’t know.” He had a british accent.

\- “You don’t know?” I lifted my eyebrows.

\- “I don’t. I might have murdered someone. I might have robbed a bank. I might have hit a car on purpose.”

\- “And you think that this is why you’re here? Under so much protection?” I felt the need to know the boy better, he looked different than any other boy that you could call normal.

\- “No. I don’t think that that’s why I’m here.”

\- “No? Why then?”

He laughed slowly.

\- “I’m here because whatever I did, I enjoyed it.” With that he turned his head to the other side and closed his eyes. I went back to Ava and Zoe, suddenly in desperate need of warmth and something to keep me safe. Then I blacked out, shaking in anger, cold and something else, induced by this “Styles”, but I couldn’t exactly out my finger on what that something else was.


	2. Dead Or Alive

The white, obviously old clock on the white wall showed that it was already 7AM and as we were told the previous day, the female guard came a few minutes lATER, handing us three nasty orange uniforms that we had to wear for our comunity service. The pink haired girl made a gagging noise, putting her finger in her mouth and the other just pulled on a disgusted face. Not that we hd a choice ; we put the uniforms on. 

 

Zoe, Ava and I had woken up long time ago and we were huddled on the bed, the blanket spread over our backs. I was still tired, but it wasnt that kind of fatigue that you could cure with sleep. For the first time in years i was feeling alone even though i had my two friends by my side. They were free and careless while i was only dreaming of freedom. I was overthinking, making up scenarios in my head that had zero chances to actually happen. I wanted to find someone to hold on to, to take care of me and be there to catch me if i fall, but i knew that i wasn't going to find anyone like that anytime soon, especially not in custody. I rolled my eyes to myself. Zoe and Ava weren't going to understand me, they loved me, yes, but they always thought that i was way too deep and they described me as "cute", something that i definitely didn't want to be. 

 

I heard a loud groan coming from the bars being opened by the guard and soon after that the familiar chubby figure appeared before my eyes. The black guard that had put this Styles boy in the other cell nodded in my direction. I took that as a good morning and smiled softly at him. He then looked over to the boy, who i hadn't seen since the night. All i could see was his shadow and his long feet on, laid on the ground. He was still asleep. I couldn't help but wonder what he was dreaming of, and i foind it kind of funny. How could someone you had never met before have such a big influence on your mind? He was beautiful, i had to admit. The low pitched voice of the guard shook me out of my thoughts and i found myself in the cold and dim lit cell again.

 

\- "Someone paid your bail... I have no idea who or why would anyone do you good, but you're out, Harold." The boy shuffled his feet slowly and bent his waist forward, resting his left elbow on his knee and putting the other on the cement to keep him steady. The slim ray of light coming from the opened window above the guard's head covered the boy's face and he blinked with his eyes, sleepily. He stood up, rubbing his eyes. There was a more serious and less playful look in his eyes and i wasn't sure whether it was because he had just woken up or because there was something going on in his mind.

The black man opened the cell and the young kid shoved him rougly, passing by him. Before leaving, he turned and looked my dead in the eyes, clenching his jaw. 

 

\- "I'll see you again." Then he just left, the guard following his steps.

 

Half an hour later an officer came in and quickly opened the door to our cell.

 

\- "I'm taking you to the place you'll have to clean today for comunity service. Move faster, i don't have all the time in the world." 

 

-"Douchbag." Mumbled Zoe under her noise.

 

I walked out first, Ava after me and Zoe being the last when the officer coldly spoke again, abruptly putting his forearm before Zoe, stopping her. She looked at him in confusion and so did Ava and i. 

 

\- "Not you. You're getting out." 

 

\- "What?!" The three of us shoutet in one voice. 

 

\- "Wait, what do you mean she's getting out?" I asked, my voice trembling. He didnt turn to face me. He just sighed in annoyance and said : 

 

\- "Her parents came in the police station and paid her fine. They're going to come and get her in a few minutes. Now move." He put our hands behind out backs and handcuffed them, locking Zoe in the cell. It was the first time that i saw her cry. She was just as scared as Ava and I. Not even the officer that was pushing us bothered me. I didn't want to leave without my friend. Without her, Ava and I were going to get lost, we had never been separated and this moment's circumstances didn't make things much easier for sure. 

 

We screamed and shouted and tried to push the officer away from us so we could stay with Zoe. Her frightened and pleading look was still lingering in my mind. I wanted to help her but it wasn't sadness that i was feeling. Nor was it shock. I was furious, full of rage. Way too many things happened withing two days. All i expected was a spring break full of parties and drugs and drinks and parties again, not this. Not robbing a shop, not getting arrested and definitely not getting separated from one of the two people i trusted the most. 

 

We had now arrived under a tiny bridge, built over a small but tiny river. The water was running fast, as if something was trying to catch it. There was a forest surrounding us and the early morning breeze stuck a flying leaf in Ava's hair. I smiled for a second. Ava was the exact opposite of me. She was calm and didn't speak. Slowly taking the leaf out of her hair, she threw it back on the ground, going back to the police car, leaning against the left front door, her hands in the uniform's pockets now that they had uncuffed us. We were waiting for the officer to give us the brooms and the rubber gloves out of the car's trunk. I was pacing down and forth, the fury growing inside of me.

 

When the man left us, Ava and i headed to the top of the bridge to start cleaning its walls from the graffiti. I shivered in unwillingness. The silence between us was heavy and since we were all alone in this place, the air was so thick i had the feeling it could be cut with a knife. I suddenly brushed my thoughts about Zoe away and asked myself why were we the only ones on comunity service? And why were we left alone? I guess we just didn't have a way to escape without getting caught. It was way too early to think of serious matters, hell, to even think at all. I brushed the blonde hair out of my face and took the cleaner. Zoe did the same and we both got to work. 

 

An hour later we were still on top of the bridge, not even halfway done with the dirty stone walls. 

 

\- "Oh, shit!" Exclaimed suddenly Ava. "No, fuck, dammit..."

\- "Did you just let your cleaner fall down in the river?" I slowly looked up at her, trying not to burst in laughter. It was stupid, but after the last day i was ready to laugh at everything and everyone out of nerves. She scoffed annoyed.

\- "Cara, please go down and bring me another cleaner." Her voice was surprisingly soft, i was preparing myself for a shower of insults. I nodded and removed the gloves off of my hands, turning my back to Ava and going back to the pile of cleaning appliances under the bridge. When i found another cleaner i bent down to pick it up from the ground. That was when i heard a loud thud. I jumped and turned around. I screamed. I screamed in horror and pain. My hand flew to my mouth and i took a step back. 

 

There was my friend. The beautiful girl i knew, lying on the ground, her chest upside down. Her arms were spread like she was a fallen bird. She wasn't moving, the warm feeling of our friendship that had made me happy for years vanished. The feeling of horror took the best of me and i clenched my fists. I stepped forward but not quite enough to get close to the girl lying unbreathing in front of me.

 

I wasn't crying, i wanted to throw a fit. Picking up the cleaner from the ground, i threw it with all my strength in the river and when i looked up, my eyes met a familiar face. The tall, fit figure of the curly boy stood before my eyes, watching me, observing my moves.

 

\- "What the hell are you doing here?" I asked between deep breaths.It was so hard trying not to choke.

He had changed his clothes - a long sleeved shirt was covering his torso and he was wearing a pair of black skinny jeans with short heeled boots. He ran towards me and took me by the hand. Before i knew what was going on, he was tugging me by the arm in a quick pace, going back to the top of the bridge. That's when my anger hit me and i sharply shook my arm out of his grasp. He turned surprised towards me.

 

\- "Who are you? What do you want? You can't just come and do whatever you want with me, the least you can do is tell me where we're going!" I felt the blood rush in my whole body. "Get away from me, she's dead, she's fucking dead,go away!" I yelled at the boy. I still hadn't broke down, my desperation and rage had won the best of me. I turned to get back to Ava's body when the boy rougly took my waist by the back and threw me against the stone bridge wall. He was inches taller than i was and he was slightly bent over my head. His left hand was palming the wall and the othe was hanging loose. I couldn't move, even if i wanted to. I stared into his eyes and tried to figure what he was feeling. He had a dark soul, that i knew for sure. A beautiful, but dark soul. But i always thought that there was something beautiful in everything that has the ability to scare us. I took in his scent. His face was so close to mine. His jaw was clenched tight and his green orbs were fixated on mine, a few brown curly locks covering his eyes.

 

\- "I'm not the one who threw violently a cleaner in the river, standing next to a dead body." He hissed in a sharp, husky voice. He was supposed to make me feel a rush of terror, but the only thing i felt were chills down my spine and it wasn't out of fright. I was still boiling with fury though. Suddenly, his words sank in. They were going to press charges on me for intender murder. What was i going to explain to the police? To my parents? To Ava's parents? To Zoe?! I still couldnt believe she was gone. They. They were now both gone. 

 

\- "You can either come with me or stay here until the police finds you." He spoke again.

\- "Why are you doing this?" My words came out like a murmur.

\- "I'm Harry Styles. Nice to meet you." He removed his arm from my side, avoiding my question, but he had at least told me his name.

\- "Cara."

\- "Okay then, Cara..." He slightly smirked playfully at me, just like the previous night and then in just a few seconds his whole expression changed once again. "Are you coming?"

I simply nodded, hearing the noise of car wheels coming closer. I was still not over Harry's burst of anger. He was like the moon - both dark and light, cold and warm. I didn't know him but at that point, to get to do so was my only wish. 

 

We ran to the forest, reaching a black, shiny ford. Harry opened the passenger door for me and i quickly got in the car. Seconds later the boy got in the driver's seat and turned the car on.

 

\- "Put on your belt." He ordered. I was in no position to object so obeyed. Harry turned on the radioa as small drops of spring rain fell on the front window of the car. Harry drove through the forest but i didn't ask where we were heading to. I wasn't even sure i wanted to know. I had literally lost everything within two days, i was slowly dying on the inside myself. There was one thing that kept me sane for now and that was the rough but gentle at the same time boy, Harry. I looked over at him. He was concentrated on the path, fingers strongly wrapped around the wheel.

 

"I'm going back to 505, If it's a 7 hours flight or a 45 minute drive..." Arctic Monkeys' song started playing on the radio.

 

"In my imagination you're waiting lying on your side..." My eyes landed on Harry's chest, slightly rising with every breath he took.

 

I closed my eyes and let my head fall and lean on the board of my seat. Was i running or was i escaping? And was Harry helping me, or was he going to be the most hurtful thing to me of all?

 

"I crumble completely when you cry, it seems like once again you've had to greet me with goodbye."


	3. Who Is He?

"Sing me to sleep, sing me to sleep, i'm tired, i'm dying, i want to go to bed..."

I felt two strong hands lifting me up bridal style and taking me someplace warm but i didn't bother opening my eyes. There wasn't any noise, not even a single clock ticking. A few seconds later i was laid on something i figured was a couch. My body sank in the soft pillows and i for a moment i felt like i was little again, at home, lying on the couch pretending to be asleep while my mom was cooking the diner. Except that i wasn't home. A fluffy blanket was put on me carefully and i heard the sound of footsteps that slowly died away and i went back to sleep.

 

When i woke up, i couldn't immediately locate myself. I had no idea where i was. Looking around, i came to the conclusion that whoever lived here had a lot of money. I peeked through the large window and saw that the sun had set. There was a fairly big lawn, surrounded by a high wood fence. The moon was making the leafs on the trees shine and form funny moving forms on the tiny moonlight path. 

 

\- "Looking for a way to run away?" A hoarse voice came from behind, making me jump and turn around. It suddenly hit me that i was in Harry's house. The last thing i was remembering was Ava lying dead under the bridge and then driving away with the boy's car where i must've fell asleep.

 

Harry was leaning against the couch, hands in his pockets, a blank expression on his face.

 

\- "No, i just..." My voice trailed off. "I just woke up." He slightly lifted up his chin, eyes moving up and down on my body, checking me out. I crossed my hands on my chest. 

 

\- "Yeah, you're a heavy sleeper, aren't you?" He chuckled, finally fixating his eyes on mine, a soft half smile forming on his lips. 

 

All of a sudden i regained my strenght.

 

\- "What happened back there?" My voice was rising after every word of mine. 

 

\- "Back where?" Harry rose his eyebrows innocently.

 

\- "Under the bridge. What happened to Ava? You just made me leave here lying there!" I yelled at him in confusion and anger. "Did you see anything?" I asked in a lower voice.

 

The boy's serious expression came back on his face. 

 

\- "No, i didn't."

 

\- "What were you doing there?!"

 

\- "It was my last day of comunity service, since a frie-" He coughed. "After someone paid my fine and i got discharged. My car was left in the woods and when i heard your scream, i got curious and came to you. I just happened to be at the same place as you were, Cara." 

 

\- "You know my name?" 

 

\- "I do." I figured that he has simply heard it in the police station so i didnt ask anything about that.

 

I stepped forward to the couch when a wave of fear hit me. 

 

\- "They're going to arrest me, they're going to blame me for killing Ava!" Harry, ever so peacefully looking at me, said : 

 

\- "No, you shouldn't worry about that. It was suicide." I breathed out a short laugh and then my eyes watered, making my vision blurry.

 

\- "E-Excuse me?" I barely made my voice sound audible.

 

\- "I went back while you were sleeping. There were police officers all over the place. I accidentaly made my presence known and they asked me a few questions."

 

\- "You?"

 

\- "Let's just say i'm familiar with the police." He smirked. "Anyway, at the end they concluded that the girl killed herself because she didn't want her parents to find out about the shit she had done and the mess she had made. When it comes to you, i said that i didn't know where you were." 

 

\- "And they believed you?" I blinked, a few hot tears falling down my cheeks.

 

\- "No. But they won't be searching for you." 

 

\- "How do you know that?" 

 

Harry scoffed in annoyance and put his hands out of his pocket, running fingers through his curls.

 

\- "Do you always ask that many questions?"

 

\- "Can you blame me for asking you?!"

 

He stood up in front of me, trying to find what to say.

 

\- "Just trust me. It's over. You won't be going back and i am not letting you go." I had stopped crying and for some reason all i felt was numbness and coldness. If only Zoe was here. I looked up to Harry's green eyes but he avoided my look, focusing his gaze on my mouth instead.

 

\- "So what, you're keeping me hostage now?" I slowly asked, having already regained my calm. Part of me wanted for him to say "yes", because i didn't know what i was going to do all alone and i had nowhere to go either. Not only that, but i had the feeling that i was going to grown fond of the boy very fast. I feared him though, was he helping me or was he just locking me up so he could have me all to himself?

 

Harry turned his back on me and started walking towards the door, shouting a short "Yeah." I followed him to a large room where i saw a fire place, a coffee table and two chairs on to its sides.

 

\- "What if i want to go?" I spoke, watching the boy turn around to face me.

 

\- "You can't." 

 

\- "You can't keep me locked up in your house, Harold." 

 

He rose his eyebrows and let out a short laugh. His smile was beautiful, there was something comforting about it.

 

\- "Harold?!" He shook his head. The boy was changing his facial expressions so easily, like he had tons of masks in his hands and he was having one for each occasion and mood of his. He took a few steps towards me, smirking and biting his lip unintentionally. 

 

\- "Babe, i can do so many things to you and you wouldn't be able to do anything about it." Harry stopped a few inches away from me. I wasn't sure whether he was giving me the kinky talk or threatening me.

 

\- "I'm not your property." I hissed at him.

 

\- "I can make you mine." He said, his eyes suddenly darkening. He got cold again. "You're weak."

 

\- "I'm not weak. You just think you're stronger because you're used to treating people like they have no meaning. And do you know why they obey? Because they fear you. You're unloved and you know it." I had finally lost my temper. But i soon realised that i had crossed a line way too soon. Harry's jaw clenched tight and he grabbed my arms, turning me around so his chest was facing my back. Keeping both of my hands under his hold behind my back, he shut my mouth with his right hand so i can't scream although the only thing i could hear in the background was the sound of crickets which lead me to the conclusion that no matter how hard i tried, no one was going to hear me.

 

\- "I'm not letting you go." Harry whispered in my ear. He took me in his grasp and i tried to kick him but he was way too strong. He bought me to the second floor and opened the door to a small bedroom. His moves were extremely fast and coordinated, he didn't have to put a lot of effort into locking me up in the chamber. There was a bathroom and a large bed in the corner. The whole house was full of expansive furniture but i couldn't care less about that at the moment. I crumbled down on the white carpet next to the door.

 

\- "I'm sorry." I heard Harry's voice. It was low and calm. Was he crying? I heard the quiet slick click of a lighter coming from the other side of the door and then nothing. I knew i had to think of the boy as a dreadful psychopath, but i felt weirdly attached to him and damn, was he the prettiest thing i had ever seen. 

 

Little did i know that he was going to become the reason for me to stay alive.


	4. Please Stay Alive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, so i've been asked why does Cara say she wonders how does Harry know her name in the 3rd chapter since she told him her name in the second one, and no, this isn't a mistake that i've made. There's a reason so i just wanted to make that clear :) - Kali

I blinked a few times before opening my eyes. I had left the lights on in the room since there was no windows in the bedroom that harry had locked me in. After my eyes got adjusted i rubbed them with the back of my fingers and then i stood up from the bed. Harry had left a pair of black jeans and a t-shirt with "The Ramones" logo on it on the bed before leaving me in this room and i had changed my clothes before going to bed the previous night. At least i wasn't feeling dirty. The shirt was too big on my me so i figured that i was Harry's but i didn't mind. At all. Not even after his sudden mood and demeanor change, i still wasn't afraid of him. Very pissed, but not afraid. Walking up to the door, not even expecting it to be unlocked, i turned the knob and to my surprise, the lock clicked. Harry had probably came back to unlock the door but i hadn't heard. I walked out and went downstairs. The house was quiet and right when i was about to open my mouth and shout the boy's name, i saw him on the kitchen counter. He was asleep, a half full ashtray next to head. His eyelids were slightly twitching and his lips were forming a soft pout; i couldn't help but wonder what he was dreaming of. I didn't want to wake him up so i looked around to search for a bathroom. I passed down the large hallway, walking by a black wooden drawer, its keys on top of it. I wanted to open it so bad, just out of curiosity, but that wasn't very appropriate. I figured i'd wait until Harry was up and i'd ask him what he was keeping inside. That was the only thing in the hallway, the walls were empty, no photos hung on them, not even a carpet on the floor. It was somehow sad too, so lonely. I kept walking until i found the bathroom at the end of the corridor.

 

It took me around ten minutes to clean up my face and brush my teeth. I wasn't home and i didn't even know the person that had gave me shleter or more like that had forcefully kept me inside for whole twenty-four hours but i had to make myself look decent after all. I shut the door behind me and switched the lights off, going back to the kitchen. I heard a loud noise followed by a curse. Standing at the threshold, i observed Harry as he picked the pieces of the glass he had just shattered. When he finally gathered them all, he rose back up and threw them in the trash can. He obviously hadn't heard or seen me watching him and when he saw me, he lightly jumped. I wasn't sure what kind of thoughts were crossing his mind.

]

\- "Good morning." I said bitterly. My words sounded harsher than intended. Harry blinked once and turned around, opening the refrigerator, so he wasn't facing me anymore.

 

\- "Hi." He said shortly. "Are you hungry?" He looked at me again, waiting for an answer.

 

\- "Very." He nodded and took out a bottle of milk and a box of cereals. Setting them on the counter and pouring the milk into a small bowl, he handed me the box and the milk, along with a spoon. A was sat in front of him. 

 

\- "I apologise for last night." He put his hands on the kitchen counter still avoiding my look.

 

\- "Okay. I'm not your prisoner though. And i'm not taking back what i said." I didn't know what else to say. I didn't want to fight nor say more hurtful things to him like i did the previous night.

 

\- "I'm not asking you to. And i'm sorry..." He contined.

 

\- "What for?" I furrowed my eyebrows, putting a spoonful of the milk and cereals in my mouth. 

 

\- "For the shitty breakfast." His face wasn't as pale as it was a few moments ago and a small smile was lightening up his face. I chewed slowly and said :

 

\- "I will live. I wasn't that hungry anyway." And then my stomach growled. I put a hand on it and made an awkward face which made Harry laugh which felt somehow good and i couldn't explain why. 

 

\- "Alright, if you say so." He shook his head and passed to the other side of the counter where i was sat. I felt his warm breath on my neck as he whispered into my ear, his hand resting on my hip :

 

 

\- "I'm taking you out tonight, left something for you to wear on the couch in the livingroom. Don't open it until when i come back though, i will be upset with you otherwise." 

 

I shivered and i was hoping he wouldn't notice. There was like a big lump in my throat and i couldn't say anything back. He then removed his hand from me way too soon, leaving the hot spot made by his palm on my hip turn cold. He walked away and went upstairs.

 

A few minutes later, i had already finished my so-called breakfast and had put the dishes in the sink, waiting for Harry to come back down. I had no idea what to do. Was i going to be able to go out or did i have to gain Harry's trust first? Was he thinking that i wouldn't come back if he let me go on a walk and was i actually going to? I knew the answer to the last one. I wanted to get to know this boy. And i also needed to ask him so many things, only three days ago we were both arrested and didn't even know each other. 

 

I was leaning against the coffee table in the other room, sunk in my thoughts when i heard that deep voice :

 

\- "I'll be going out." Harry said, putting on black trench coat. The weather had gotten colder and it was starting to rain. A few drops hit the window, making that the only sound i could hear in this big house.

 

\- "Wait, what about me?" I asked.

 

\- "I called a friend, he's coming over. He'll be here in a minute."

 

\- "I don't need a babysitter..." I protested, my tone getting higher at the end. Harry rolled his eyes and regained his serious look.

 

\- "I'm just making sure you'll be safe while i'm gone." His voice was low. I didn't understand what he meant but before i could ask, the door bell rang. Harry turned his back on me and went to open the door. I heard Harry greet someone and then the sound of the door being shut. I was way too far from them to hear what they were saying, making their talk incomprehensible for me. Not long after that i saw Harry coming to me with a tall, blonde guy with a huge smile on his face. He was the absolute opposite of the taller boy. 

 

\- "Hi, i'm Ed." The blonde said, holding him hand up. I took it and greeted him :

 

\- "Cara..." Letting my hand fall back to my side, i moved my eyes to Harry, giving him an annoyed look but he decided to act dumb and ignore me. Nudging Ed with his elbow, the curly boy said goodbye and started walking towards the door.

 

\- "Come back alive, Styles!" Ed yelled after Harry. When he got out and me and the new boy were left alone, i asked :

 

\- "What was that for, where is he going?" I was concerned. The seemingly older boy gave me a kind smile and shrugged.

 

\- "Just something i'm always telling him." He tried to reassure me but i knew he was lying. I decided not to deep any further though.

 

 

The time went by faster than i expected. It was already getting dark outside. Ed and I had spent the entire day listening to some cds that we found in the livingroom. Apparently Harry had a thing for the indie and the rock music and he had an amazing collection of the greatest bands' hits. I learned that he and Ed new each other from years but every time i asked about something concerning Harry's private life, all i got was a "not any of my business, when the time comes, he'll tell you all about himself" and that was more than frustrating. 

 

It was nine o'clock and we were both sat on the ground in front of the tv screen. They were showing an uninteresting movie but at least the silence wasn't so insanely deep.

 

\- "Hey, do you happen to know what is Harry keeping in that small drawer in the hallway?" I suddenly asked. Ed gave me a weird look.

 

\- "Why are you so interested in him?" He replied playfully.

 

\- "I'm not." I said, trying to convince more myself than Ed. "I just want to know whose house i'm staying at." I stated, as if it was obvious.

 

\- "Ahh, i see. You're got so affected by his british accent and now you like him." He teased. I rolled my eyes, desperately trying to hide the evident blush on my face.

 

\- "Yes, okay, sure. Will you answer me or...?" He laughed.

 

\- "He's hoding his gun there." As his words came out of his mouth, i choked on the sip of water that i had just taken.

 

\- "I beg you pardon?" I coughed.

 

\- "Don't ask anything about it. He will get frustrated at you for putting your nose in his affairs and at me for telling you." His voice deepened.

 

\- "What does he need it for?"

 

\- "I told you, don't ask. Leave it." He was now completely serious. 

 

The door bell rang right then and Ed and I both got up but he mentioned me to stay where i was. I followed him with my eyes until i lost him. A few minutes passed and the boys still hadn't come inside so i decided to go to them. I walked on my tiptoes and when i got the hallway, i saw Ed holding Harry by the waist. His voice came out muffled because his mouth was covered with his coat's sleeve. When he removed it, i gasped quietly but loud enough to let them both notice my presence. Harry turned to me, his eyes widening. 

 

\- "Go back in the livingroom, Cara." I didn't listen.

 

\- "What happened to you?" I always cried. His lower lip was bloody and the knuckles on his right hand were covered in small cuts. As Ed helped him to remove his coat, blue brusises covering Harry's forearm became visible.

 

\- "I fell." He said as if he wanted me to believe him and let it be.

 

\- "Of course you did." I said sarcastically, taking a few steps forward. I was scared to get closer to him because i couldn't risk him losing his temper again. But much to my surprise, he didn't. He turned to Ed, his voice slightly shaking :

 

\- "Thanks for keeping an eye on her, but you can go, i'm okay. It's over for now." Ed gave him a knowing look and a nod. What was Harry talking about?

 

\- "Call me if you need help." The blond guy said, frowning deeply.

 

They both headed to the door and before leaving, Ed half smiled and waved at me. I waved back but the last thing i wanted to do was smile. 

 

Thinking that i wouldn't be able to hear it, Harry gave his friend a deadly look and said :

 

\- "She can't know, please don't do anything." What wasn't i supposed to know? 

 

I could see that Ed was worried too but he sighed and simply nodded. They said goodbye and Harry shut the door.

 

\- "Let me take a shower, then i'm taking you out." 

 

\- "I won't go out with you." I replied coldly.

 

\- "I won't give you much of a choice." Harry said, his jaw clenching again. He was getting bad again but upsetting him wasn't what i was trying to do. He had helped me and Ed had a point, i really did start to like him, masochistically. So i wanted to show him that his moment of kindness towards me hadn't gone unnoticed.

 

\- "No, let me clean your cuts and then i'll get dressed, like you told me." His features softened.

 

\- "I can do it myself."

 

\- "But you're not alone." He looked at me as if he was surprised that i was being nice to him. I don't think he was expecting it from me.

 

\- "Thank you." 

 

I walked up to him and we both headed to his room. The back of my hand accidentaly brushed his and he wrapped his little finger around mine. His hand was warm and soft and at that moment i felt the painful need to interwine my hand with his. I was looking down to my feet, not daring to face him.

 

When we got to his room, he let my hand drop. Sharply turning around to me, his mouth just a few inches away from my nose, he gave me his familiar dirty smirk and said :

 

\- "Well, Cara" He brushed my hair from my face. "Thanks for being a good girl today." He winked at me and just like that, an entirely different Harry was standing in front of me. The fear and rage that were written on his face earlier were now gone. But were they really gone or was he just hiding everything to himself, suppressing all of his pain on the inside?

 

That night was going to be long.


	5. Harry's POV

*Harry's POV*

Thirty minutes after I had left Cara and Ed in my house, I was already in front of the poshest bar in Los Angeles. It was two stories high, with neon blue lights glowing day and night on the facade. It was still morning and the place was empty. The rain was pouring stronger by now and I rushed into the building, my hair already dripping wet, dropping my coat off and hooking it on the black hanger next to the door. The first floor consisted of three booths and one bar. There was an illuminated dance floor in the middle and small glass tables around it. A DJ's installation was on the second floor, along with several coloured spotlights.   
I wasn't a customer though. Passing by the bar, I crossed the bartender and bumped into his shoulder, not bothering to stop, turn around or apologize. I heard his annoyed scoff but I wasn't going to deal with him. I had plans and I needed my strength. 

I found the door leading to the basement a few steps further and abruptly turned the knob, revealing a big and dark place in front of me. Walking down the stairs, I looked around, my eyes trying to find the guy that I desperately needed to talk to. As I reached the bottom of the staircase, a tall man in his early 30’s, wearing a suit, put his hand on my chest and stopped me, not moving out of my way. I bit my lip in frustration and impatience.

\- “Come on, man, fuck off.” I said, trying to push him away but he stepped closer to me, blocking my way once again.

\- “After your last “performance”, pal, I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to come here.” I decided to ignore his words although I knew he was right.   
\- “Where’s Steven?” I sighed, trying to sound as calm as possible.  
\- “Let him go, he’s the good guy after all.” Said someone jokingly and I turned around to see Steven, the boss of the entire underground business and by “underground business”, I mean everything – from the Russian roulette occupation to the drug dealers all over the town.  
The man in front of me took a step back and walked out of my sight. 

\- “We need to talk.” I said.  
Steven smiled, crossing his arms in front of his chest, smirking at me. I hated how powerful he was and how weak I had made myself.   
\- “I thought things were clear, Styles.” He started. “You know how this goes. It’s a game, you play and you either win, or you die.” The man said with such ease, it infuriated me even more.  
\- “Yeah” I scoffed. “But you decided to negotiate, didn’t you?”  
\- “You lost, kid. Be happy you’re not dead. It’s all on you. You put yourself and that girl in this situation. We only did what you made us do.”  
\- “Quit acting like you’re all innocent, come on, you know I’m good at this!” My voice was slowly rising and he didn’t seem to like it. The smile fell off his face and he regained his serious expression.   
\- “Exactly. You’re good, and we can’t risk losing a player like you. But these are the terms. You bet that girl in the beginning and when you lost,” He laughed shortly. “Well you lost her.” 

I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath.

\- “I was in a bad place, I wouldn’t do it again. I beg you, reconsider this.”  
\- “No.”   
And with that, my eyes widened, but not in surprise. I was furious, but the only person to blame was no one else but me. Next thing I know I was on top of Steven, my fist hitting his face over and over again, until I felt four strong arms lift me up and a sharp pain in my ribs. We were in the biggest game hall where the best Russian roulette players were coming. There were multiple “groups” and each one had a leader. I was a leader too, even though I was now feeling less than a leader and more of a simple follower. A week before I was put in jail, I had lost a big game. My loss was based on my stupidity. Ever since I was little, I was always considering myself an independent guy and I was used to doing everything I wanted to, because I was able to. Of course, drugs were a huge part of this business but for some reason, I had never thought that they’d affect me. But they did. Right before the game, the high and inadequate person that I was, I bet the girl that I had a crush on for weeks. She didn’t know me, but I did. After seeing her for the first time on the highway, I used my relations to find out more about her. It was creepy in a way, but I didn’t realize that until I lost her to a goddamn game and she wasn’t even mine. I gave the girl with the prettiest smile and for an unknown reason with the saddest eyes to a bunch of nonchalant men, wanting nothing more than money and power. I gave them the permission to literally own someone who had nothing to do with this. I gave them Cara.

I was thrown down on the ground, three men kicking me all over my body all at once. When they finally stopped, I gasped for air, putting my hand on my chest, already knowing that I had at least one broken rib. Steven harshly grasped the collar of my shirt and put me back on my feet, motioning to his fellas to leave us alone. His nose was bloody and his entire face was in bruises. I couldn’t help but smirk, I felt at least a bit satisfied that I made him look like crap.

\- “Hide her all you want, we will find Cara sooner or later. You’re only making it worse for both of you, but hey, who am I to judge you.” He obnoxiously laughed, letting go of me.   
After I regained my breath I said : 

\- “If you hurt her, I will kill you and everyone you love, I promise you.” My voice was quiet and low, shame and guilt getting the best of me.

I took my coat, walking out of the bar in a hurry, desperately needing fresh air. As I walked out, cold raindrops hit my face and when I looked down to my hands, two small bloody drops fell on my palms, slowly turning clean from the pouring rain. I wasn’t able to drive nor could I go home immediately. The last thing I wanted was to scare Cara, if I hadn’t already done so. I decided to walk my way home, making slow and small steps, stepping into the puddles. I was close to the shore and I could hear the waves hit the rocks as if they were trying to break them. I stopped walking, staring into the thin line between the ocean’s horizon and the dark sky. I gasped, my feet slowly but surely sinking and letting me drown and I wasn’t even close to the water. 

I wasn’t going to let anyone get hurt because of me ever again, so I put myself together, put my hands in the pockets of coat, slightly trembling. My feet started to move again and I headed home, trying to concentrate on the night that was coming and I didn’t find it hard to forget about what had just happened because the image of Cara appeared in my head and suddenly, all I wanted to do was go home and spend the night out with her.


	6. The Night's just Starting

*Back to Cara’s POV*

 

We went up to my room to clean Harry’s cuts. He was really quiet and seemed upset but the last thing I wanted to do was to push him too much. He sat on the bed and took off his shirt, soaked from the rain. I closed the door and quickly looked away, trying to swallow the words that I could’ve easily let out of my mouth. Harry had three more, smaller tattoos under his chest and one on his forearm, the dark ink making his skin look paler than it actually was.

 

He rested his elbows on his knees, looking down at his feet. I took a towel from the bathroom, soaking it under some cool water and then went back to the bed, sitting next to Harry. I could see him observing me but I didn’t say anything. I was slightly shaking, mentally kicking myself for being so awkward around him. He was like one of those boys, sitting in the back of the classrooms, cracking jokes every now and then and making everyone laugh with his nonchalant attitude. And then there was me. I wasn’t shy but I was nowhere near being as self-confident as him.

 

I took his left wrist, turning his hand. He clenched his fist and after cleaning the bloody slashes, I put a bandage which he tried to remove, just out of piggery. I rolled my eyes and slapped his hands but he grabbed mine and squeezed them tightly, pulling me closer to him.

 

\- “Wanna try that again?” Harry’s voice was low, but now malicious. His breath felt hot against my cheeks and to shake my thoughts of him I wiggled my arms but I couldn’t let go of his grasp. I bit my lip, irritated.

 

\- “Who died to make you so hard to be taken care of?” I said through my teeth. The boy looked right into my eyes and loosened his grip. It suddenly hit me that someone close to him might’ve actually died and I opened my mouth to apologize but he spoke first, his lips forming a small smile :

 

 

\- “Go wear what I left you this morning. As promised, I’m taking you out. Be ready in 30 minutes, I’m not very patient.” With that, he removed his hands off of mine and left the room. Just like that. Without even saying a single “thank you.” Instead of getting mad at me he had neglected my rude interjection. I breathed heavily, taking the towel back to the bathroom and heading downstairs to get ready.


	7. So far, So Good

The bag Harry had left me was on the couch in the living room. The reigning silence in the house was starting to drive me crazy. I didn’t know where Harry was and I tried to be as fast as possible. I picked up the bag and went back to my room, locking the door, just in case. I pulled garment out of the bag and lifted it in front of me. It was a short but elegant, simple black dress with no suspenders. It took me by surprise how gorgeous it actually was because I expected something way… sluttier from the boy and for a second I thought that Harry might have a sweet side. He had added black shoes with high heels, too and after trying them on, I laughed to myself and shook my head. Everything was too weird.

 

Half an hour later, I was already dressed and had pulled my hair up into a bun. I wasn’t usually into putting on makeup but there was something that was making me want to look beautiful. It wasn’t for me though; I somehow wanted Harry to want me.

 

Suddenly there was a knock on the door:

 

\- “Are you ready?” Harry asked.

I took my phone and unlocked the door. Harry stood in front of me and his eyes travelled all the way from the shoes to my eyes. He smirked, obviously satisfied with my look. He was wearing is skinny jeans with a white shirt tucked in them and a suit’s jacket, his curls now gone and his fringe up. I was ready to say something to mess with him when I saw his bruised lower lip and I frowned. But once again, he spoke before me :

 

\- “Why was your door locked?” His eyebrows were furrowed and a playful smile showed up on his face.

 

\- “Just in case.”

 

Harry laughed slowly.

 

\- “You know, I have much better ways to see you without any clothes on than coming up to your room when you don’t expect me.” He winked at me and shit the bedroom door behind me. My eyes widened slightly.

 

\- “Wait, what?”

 

 

\- “Let’s go.” He simply said, taking my hand in his, intertwining our fingers and we both headed to the car. Harry opened the door for me then got into the driver’s seat and we drove away. Maybe the night wasn’t going to be that bad after all, but I had a feeling that something was going to ruin everything and that made my stomach in knots.


	8. You're Psychotic

“…I don't know what I'm on, somebody mixed my medicine…”

 

The Pretty Reckless were playing on the radio, and as the song started, harry turned the volume up. It was dark outside, the wind was making the shadows of the trees dance and the street lights were illuminating the dark alleys. Half an hour had passed since Harry and I had hit the road and I was starting to get nervous. The boy hadn’t let a single word out.

 

\- “Where are we going?” I asked.

\- “Just someplace nice.”

\- “So far? Couldn’t we go somewhere closer to your neighborhood? Or do you want to hide me from the people you know?” I said jokingly. Harry didn’t reply for a minute.

\- “If I could, I would show you off to all of my friends.” He spoke silently, as if he didn’t want me to hear it.

\- “What does that mean?”

\- “Nothing.” He sighed and as we approached a huge parking lot, the car drove slower and Harry pulled over, turning the headlights off and pulling the keys out of the ignition.

\- “We here.” He said happily and got out of the car, quickly making his way to the other side to open the door for me again.

 

Harry led me inside of a tall, luxurious looking building. Once we got in, we headed to a restaurant on the first floor, stopping in front of a small counter, a thin and short man standing behind it.

 

\- “Hello,” started Harry “We have a reservation for two in the back.”

\- “Of course, on who’s name?” asked the employee.

\- “Styles.”

 

The man checked his list and when he found Harry’s name, he smiled politely and motioned for us to go inside. The boy put his arm around my waist, as if he was scared I won’t follow him and pulled me closer to him.

 

We sat on a table next to the window revealing a beautiful view of the city, cars driving through the highways, large glass buildings reflecting the light of the moon…

I was curious to know why Harry had put so much effort into making things sort of romantic. He noticed that I was tense and chuckled.

 

\- “I’m not going to make you eat and then lock you up and kill you, you know?” This Harry was nowhere near the person he was a few hours ago. He was calm and kind.

\- “One can never be too careful.” I replied amusingly. He laughed again and I took advantage of his good mood and asked :

\- “Seriously though, what’s this for? You barely know me and I don’t know you at all.”

\- “Can’t I take my girl out on a date?”

\- “Your girl?” I raised my eyebrows.

\- “Well, you’re pretty much mine right now.” He winked at me.

 

The waitress came and Harry ordered a bottle of wine and said that we’d need more time to look at the menu so we can order something to eat then she left.

 

\- “Can I ask you something?”

\- “Sure, shoot.” He replied.

\- “When you took me to your place, how did you know my name?”

He looked at me confused.

\- “We… You told me your name back when we were on the bridge...”

\- “Oh, right.”

Wrong. I didn’t remember that. But then again, many things were slipping away from my mind lately; I figured that I had forgotten about this due to the shock of what had happened with Zoe and Ava.

 

\- “I know you from a long time, though.” Harry said after a long pause.

\- “What?” I asked surprised. He looked at me, a thoughtful expression on his face. He was trying to find what to say exactly.

\- “From school… I’ve seen you many times on the outside and on the bus stop, waiting for a ride.”

\- “Were you stalking me?” He dodged the question a bit and said :

\- “It was raining one day and you were waiting for your bus. I was going home when I saw you standing there and I got curious, so I followed you.”

\- “You followed me?” I coughed, choking on a sip of wine.

\- “Are you okay?”

\- “I’m fine, answer my question.” I was irritated.

\- “Yes, I followed you and saw where you live. I wanted to give you a ride because you were soaked but the bus came before I could catch you and then again that would’ve been weird. You know, a random guy telling you to go into his car to drive you home.”

“Oh, because following a random girl isn’t weird, not to mention that it’s creepy?” My voice was loud and angry.

\- “Calm down.” I took a deep breath and faked a smile.

\- “Fine, was the the last time you saw me?”

He coughed and cleared his throat.

\- “Uhm… No. I kept seeing you everyday then decided to learn something more about you and I did. I know where you live, the names of your friends. I also know that you’re going to church classes.” He stopped for a second. “Seriously? Church classes? Who does that…” My eyes widened.

\- “You’re a psycho. How did you find anything about me at all?”

\- “It doesn’t matter. And I didn’t want to be a creeper, but I couldn’t just go and meet you.”

\- “Would’ve been way easier and better, don’t you think?” Then it suddenly hit me. “Were you planning on everything that happened in the prison?!” I started to shake slightly, the bright mood now long gone.

\- “What? No!” He raised his voice in defense.

\- “Did you push Ava off of the bridge?” My voice was low. His face turned pale.

\- “No. I didn’t. I wouldn’t do that.” For some reason I didn’t believe him. I shook my head.

\- “Why did you take me to your place? What do you want from me?”

\- “I’m not gonna hurt you, I promise.” His accent and tone was making his words sound like he was telling a bedtime story, but that was far from what he was actually saying. “I’m protecting you from some people.”

 

I was scared and furious.

\- “At this point, the only person I need to be protected from is you.” I harshly said. He looked desperate to make calm down but I didn’t let him say anything more.

\- “I have to go to the bathroom.” I stood up quickly, taking my phone and leaving Harry on the table. I headed to the other side of the restaurant, turning my head around to make sure that he couldn’t see me anymore and I walked past the man on the exit. I left the building, shivering from the late night, cold wind.

 

*Harry’s POV*

 

Fifteen minutes had passed since Cara had left me and it couldn’t be clearer to me that she had ran away. Anger took over me and I threw my napkin on the table, rushing to the exit. I felt so stupid for saying the truth but I was hoping that the girl would try and listen to me. Instead, all I did was to scare her off. I searched through the parking lot, trying to find Cara.

 

\- “Cara!” I screamed. There was no one around.

 

*Back to Cara’s POV*

 

I heard Harry’s voice and I hid behind a tree, finding myself between it and a metallic fence. I unlocked my phone, shaking fingers scrolling through my contacts, despairingly searching for the number of someone that would be able to help me when suddenly, a hand reached out from behind me and took the phone out of hands. I turned around and saw Harry’s tall figure. He turned my telephone off and put in the back pocket of his jeans.

 

\- “Shit.” I cursed under my nose. He grabbed me and pinned me against the tree, taking both of my hands and putting them on my back, holding them tight so I can’t move.

\- “You could’ve at least said goodbye.” Harry said, fury in his voice. “Did you really believe I’d let you run away?”

\- “You’re insane. I’m not your possession. Let me go.”

\- “What if I don’t?”

\- “I’ll scream.” With that, he put his free hand over my mouth.

\- “I’d love to see that.” He smirked but his face quickly turned serious again. He swallowed and said in a calmer tone :

\- “Listen to me, I’m not gonna hurt you. You will have to do what I tell you to until I make sure you’re safe. Then you’ll be free to go.” He removed his palm from my mouth.

\- “If it wasn’t for you, I’d still be with my friends. I’d be safe, at home, studying or just trying to avoid doing my homework. Buy I wouldn’t be with one dead friend, an escape from the jail in my record and I certainly wouldn’t be staying with someone like you in a-“ I couldn’t finish my sentence. Harry put his hand on my throat lightly, lifting my chin up and kissed me hard. My eyes widened and I moaned, trying to push him away but that only made him deepen the kiss, biting my lower lip. I didn’t know what to do and eventually, I gave in. I was afraid of him but I still wanted this. Maybe not in these circumstances, but it wasn’t like I was expecting anything normal.

 

Harry kissed me harshly, while I stayed frozen in his grasp. He slowly ran his tongue across my lips and I hesitantly parted them. After a few seconds, he cautiously set my hands free and pulled my body closer to his. I caught the collar of his shirt and tugged on it, trying to breathe through the kiss. But all too soon, Harry removed his lips from mine, his chest rising and falling. I felt his hot breath as he put his head in the curve of my neck, placing his lips on my collarbone, leaving small kisses everywhere on the way to my jaw and whispered :

\- “Let’s just go before you regain your strength and hit me.”


	9. What Did I Do?

The ride was silent. Not even the radio was on, the only thing we could hear was our breathing and he obnoxious noises coming from the random motors passing by. Harry hadn’t said a word since we had left the parking lot, which was more of a traumatizing experience. He had used his force on me again, dragging me by the hand to his car, lacking of kindness and sweetness. After the kiss, he had returned to his angry self, but he had no right to be mad at me. All I wanted was to get away from him, at least for a few moments. I was furious, shocked and upset, but still inadequate in a good way, still being under the effect of the feeling he gave me when we kissed.   
Harry’s hands were clutching the wheel like he was trying to choke someone. He was obviously pissed off and I wasn’t sure what he was going to do with me after going back home. 

To my surprise, he didn’t loose his temper, not even when we arrived at his place. I, on the other hand, made it evident that I didn’t want to talk to him. Without waiting for him to lock the front door, I headed upstairs, bumping into his shoulder, pretending he wasn’t even there. I heard his keys drop on the glass table in the hallway.

\- “You’re not getting out of this house until I say you can.” I heard Harry’s calm voice, like he was saying something completely normal. I turned around, looking at him from the top of the stairs.  
\- “You’re in no position to give me ultimatums nor to tell me what to do.” He didn’t bother looking up and face me, he just kept his quiet tone and said :  
\- “As far as I know, you have nowhere to go. You’re scared of me so you wouldn’t try to run away again.” He sighed, sitting on the couch and turning the TV on. “You don’t want to hear me, so I what’s the point of explaining to you why I want you to stay here as long as possible.”  
\- “What, under your watch? Where I can feel safe?” I said sarcastically.  
\- “Yes.” I gritted my teeth, turning on my heel, not saying anything else.  
\- “Goodnight to you too, love.” Harry shouted from downstairs. As a reply, I shut the door to my room as loud as I could. Suddenly, a rush of rage took over me. I removed my dress, tearing it apart and throwing my shoes at the mirror of the wardrobe strongly enough to break it. I took my hair in my hands, letting it down to cover my back and shoulders. I dug my nails into the flesh on my forearm, leaving red marks. I felt no pain though, only a hot, stingy feeling. I was a sobbing mess, not even realizing what I was doing. Was that a panic attack? Or did I just have undeveloped anger issues? All of a sudden, I felt a severe ache in my head and everything became blurry and dark and my feet started to move.

The next thing I know, I woke up on my bed, the clock next to my head showing that it was nine in the morning. Putting a lot of effort, I sat up straight. I felt something against my thigh, and when I removed the covers, I found a pair of keys. I didn’t recognize them, I couldn’t figure what they were for and where had they came from. My eyes fell on my arms, seeing several reddish traces. 

I spent a good few minutes recovering my memories but nothing came out. The last thing I remembered was Harry’s “goodnight”. I decided to let it go for a while. I had to clean up the room and make myself look decent enough to go downstairs without looking like I’ve just came out of a mental squad. What had I done?


	10. What Did You Do Last Night?

I still had no clothes since Harry had basically kidnapped me, so I put my black jeans a spare, oversized white flannel shirt that I had kept with me. The bedroom was now in order and the sleeves of this shirt were covering the red marks on my arms. The last thing I wanted was for Harry to see them. I sighed and cautiously opened the door, trying not to make a sound so the boy wouldn’t hear me, but apparently, he was too busy to pay attention to me. I heard his loud and what seemed panicked voice from downstairs. He was talking to someone.

\- “What do you mean he’s gone?” Harry said. I was on the top of the stairs, slowly walking down the steps on my tiptoes.   
\- “Harry, if I knew, I wouldn’t be here. But they all think you did something to him, and even as a friend, I can tell you that they have every reason to think that.” The other person said and his voice sounded familiar. It took me a few seconds to remember where I had heard him before until I realized that it was Ed. The blond guy that Harry had made babysit me the other day.  
\- “I was here the whole night!” The curly boy said, his words followed by a soft knock on the counter, caused by Harry’s fist. I tried to move but I stepped sideways and almost tripped.  
\- “Shit” I cursed silently. Being already close enough to the end of the steps, the boys could see me clearly and the both turned their heads around, shutting up the moment they saw me. Harry sighed, looking back at Ed who, at his turn, gave the boy a serious look.   
\- “Stay here again, please. I have to go and deal with this.”  
\- “Sure.” Ed nodded. “Call me if something happens though. I’ll have to take Cara somewhere else immediately.” After that, Harry stood up and left, without turning his back to say goodbye.  
\- “What is going on?” I asked once I got closer to Ed and sat next to him in the kitchen.   
\- “Nothing.” He replied innocently. “He’ll be back soon.”  
\- “What do you mean you’ll have to take me elsewhere? I’m not some luggage, the least you can do is tell me what is going on!”   
\- “Nothing!” His voice became rough but when he saw that I felt taken aback, his features softened and said in a calmer tone :  
\- “Everything’s okay. Harry told me about last night and how you think he’s a psychopath, and he is. But he won’t hurt you. You need to trust him, he’s all you have right now.” I tried to let his words sink in but I couldn’t. They scared me but I had been told too many things in the past twenty four hours so I decided to act like Harry and ignore everything for a day.  
\- “Good morning, by the way.” He said, chuckling slightly.  
\- “Hi.” I silently mumbled, looking down at my hands. I could feel his gaze upon me.  
\- “Listen, go sit on the couch, I’ll make you some tea.”  
\- “No, thank you.”  
\- “It’s just a tea, hun.” I moved my eyes to look at him and there was something mischievous in his look but I really couldn’t figure what was it exactly that made me feel uncomfortable around him now. I stood up and went in the living room. Following Ed’s every move, I saw him smirk at himself while he was making the tea. The smirk was soon replaced by a threatening-like smile, his jaw clenched tight. He caught me staring and looked right into my eyes and I quickly removed my sight from him

Two minutes later he came in with two cups of tea and sat next to me, giving one of them to me. The hot drink was steamy but strangely, the glass cup wasn’t hot. I drank from it, the tea leaving a lightly sour taste in my mouth. 

\- “Did you get any sleep last night? You seem knackered.” Ed said, taking a sip.   
\- “I did.” I lied.   
\- “That’s lemon tea, it should wake you up a little bit.” He smiled.   
\- “Thanks.”  
\- “So, what did you do last night?” The boy asked. I furrowed my eyebrows.  
\- “What do you mean?”  
\- “Where did you go?” He looked at me dead in the eyes. Suddenly, my vision became blurry again and instead of feeling more awake, I felt like falling asleep right there.  
\- “I… was here.” I said, leaving the cup on the table, scared that I might spill the drink. Ed waited a few minutes and asked again :  
\- “Where did you go, Cara?”  
\- “I went out.” I closed my eyes, not realizing what I was saying.   
\- “You did.” The boy’s voice was very calm, slow, deep and low. “Do you know what you did?”  
\- “No.” I shook my head.  
\- “You locked the man up. You don’t know if he’s alive now.”  
\- “What man?” I still had my eyes closed.  
\- “You know who I’m talking about. You’re worse than Harry.”  
\- “I’m not. I was here last night!” I tried to open my eyes but Ed put the cup of tea back in my hands.  
\- “Drink.” So I did.  
\- “Now, Cara, what did you do last night?” He repeated.  
\- “I went out. I locked him up.”  
\- “Good girl. Are you going to tell Harry?”  
\- “No. I mustn’t.”  
\- “No. You mustn’t.” Ed’s soothing tone was all I could hear. His words echoed in my head, leaving every other existing thought disappear.  
\- “You didn’t do anything wrong.” The boy started comforting me. I started to feel relaxed, my body becoming less and less tensed, like I was floating in the water, completely numb to any kind of pain.  
\- “You need to sleep now.” I heard Ed’s distant voice and felt his arms pick me up, bridal style, carrying me back to my room and laying me down. Then I heard the door being closed and I drifted off.


	11. Throwback

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to clear things up a little bit for you, so here's a throwback from Ed's point of view. Reminder : Ed is 22 years old, Harry - 18 and Cara - 17. In this chapter, they are 3 years younger.

*Throwback – 3 years ago*  
*ED’S POV*

\- “What have you done again, Harry?” My annoyed voice was the only thing to be heard in the empty hall of the psychiatry. All of the patients were in their rooms, put to rest after the lunch break. The air was smothery and the white apron that I was required to wear was starting to suffocate me. “Do you have an idea what situation you’re putting me in? This is the third time in one week, Harold!” I spoke angrily through my teeth, trying to be as quiet as possible.  
\- “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” I heard the shaking voice of the young boy through my phone.   
\- “You’re fifteen, boy. I told you not to get involved with the “underground” business, as you call it. You’re in a bad place, I know it. But I also know that you’re doing what they want you to do, and for what? A couple of pills? Is it worth it?” I knew I sounded like an old father, but I couldn’t help myself.  
\- “I know!” Harry’s cry cut me off. “Please, help me, it’s the last time, I promise!” He was begging me and I could feel the desperation in his still boyish voice. I sighed and said :   
\- “You know that I will always help you, but I’m only three years older than you and on top of all, I’m a psychologist. Can’t you see what’s wrong with this picture?” I said, regaining my calm. When he didn’t answer, I spoke again :  
\- “Did you kill someone?”  
\- “I… I didn’t mean to. He just jumped out of nowhere.”  
\- “What did you do with him?”  
\- “Buried him in the woods. You know, the ones on the Forest Hill?” I shook my head, running my hand through my face.  
\- “Look, go home and rest. I’ll come over when I’m done here, I only have one more patient. And it’s for the last time.”  
\- “I promise.” Harry said, repeating these two words over and over again. “Thank you.”

I closed my phone and headed to my cabinet. I was feeling pity for the young boy. He was in such a fragile age and yet, a school dropout and an addict. The fact that he was left by his parents had left him even more helpless. After this had happened, his life had become a rollercoaster that could only bring Harry down. He was lost, pointlessly wandering in the streets at night, seeking for someone who might be able to help him. A friend. But he had gotten so used to people rejecting him that the only person he was opening up to was me. I knew him since forever and I wasn’t going to give up on him, but I couldn’t keep cleaning up his messes.

\- “Mr. Collins!” Someone shouted from behind and I turned around.   
\- “Oh, Cara! I’m glad you made it.” I smiled big as I saw the tiny blonde girl in front of me. 

I led her into my office and she sat on the couch in front of my desk. I leaned on the side of the desk, intertwining my fingers.

\- “So, how was your day?”  
\- “It was okay.” The girl said in a squeaky voice. “I came here right after school because my mom couldn’t pick me up. Is that okay?”  
\- “Yes, I can see your uniform.” I laughed. “Of course that’s okay. Now tell me, are we going to keep seeing each other or you still have those nightmares tormenting you?” I asked, concerned. Cara sat quietly for awhile and then replied :

\- “They haven’t stopped, Mr. Collins. Last night, I woke up at three in the morning.”  
\- “What happened in your head?”  
\- “I was in a small hut, on a hill. The fireplace was lit and I was all by myself.” The eyes of the young child were fixed on the ceiling, her face expressionless. “Everything was silent until I heard someone knock on the door.”  
\- “Did you open it?” I asked.  
\- “I tried, but it was locked. I panicked, starting to run around the cabin like a crazy person. Next thing I know, I was out, in the cold. It was raining and there were no lights. I was in the dark and I was afraid, so I started running again, tripping over branches every now and then, until I fell. I stood up trying to figure what I had ran over and I stumbled upon something large, but I couldn’t see what it was. My breathing became hectic. I though it was a rock but as my eyes adjusted to the darkness, I saw a man, lying on the grass.”  
\- “What was your reaction to this?” I furrowed my eyebrows.  
\- “I screamed.” Chuckled Cara. “I screamed at the top of my lungs but unlike my other nightmares where I’m always trying to hide myself from someone that’s chasing me, this time I was the one to chase.”  
\- “What do you mean?” The girl looked up at me.  
\- “I could hear the sound of footsteps on the wet grass, covered by mud, so I took the body by his feet and swept him down. I don’t remember where I left him, though. I only know that the next thing I did was to go downhill, searching for someone.”  
\- “For who?”  
\- “I don’t know.” Said the girl innocently, raising her shoulders. “Then I woke up.”

I stood silent for a minute, taking a deep breath.

\- “The scene you just described was far more disturbing than any other one until now. I need to know what’s making your brain make up all these vivid scenarios.” I said. “I’m worried. You’re fourteen now and these nightmare can have serious consequences and could damage your mental state.” The girl nodded silently.   
\- “I’m going to sign you up for another meeting next week and I want you to tell your parents that I need to talk to them. Okay?”  
\- “Okay.”  
\- “Good. We’ll spend this hour talking about what might be troubling you. From what you told me, I remembered that you found a dead body, is that right?”  
\- “Yes.”  
\- “Do you think that you were the one who killed him but by suppressing the memory, you forgot that you actually did it?”  
\- “I don’t know. If I could remember, I would believe I killed him, yes.” There was something in her voice that made me realize that she wasn’t scared. She was infatuated with her story and somehow, she was finding it enthralling and intriguing.  
\- “Cara, this is the first time that the villain in your nightmare is you.” As soon as I said these words out loud, it hit me. She was Harry and the nightmare was his life.   
\- “Let’s pretend you were the one who murdered him. I want you to develop your story, but here and now. Can you do that?” The blonde girl nodded and put on a thoughtful expression. I handed her a piece of paper and a pen.  
\- “I want you to write everything you imagine, in details.”

As I was waiting for her to put pen to paper, thoughts started floating in my mind. Could I use her to protect my best friend and how far would that go? Would it work? And the most important thing that I asked myself was : “Was I as crazy as any other patient in this mental hospital?”


	12. Dark Shadow

I woke up with the worst head ache. If I had gotten some sleep last night, things would’ve been better, but lately, everything seemed to be against me, including my bed that was now feeling hard and uncomfortable. I punched the pillow in irritation and grunted lightly. The room was dark which was quite comforting, I’ve always found something soothing in the blackness. But the darkness was a form of loneliness, and that was something that had the power to destroy me.

The clock was ticking, showing that I was already 21:12 pm. My gaze fell back on the bed and then on my clothes. I felt sick and nauseous. I hadn’t taken a shower in a long time and I didn’t even have a second pairs of jeans and a shirt. All I had were these sticky, over-worn clothes. This whole situation was ridiculous, I was like a prisoner. And even though I had a roof to live under and I wasn’t left hungry, the hospitality in this house wasn’t the one that a normal person would welcome you with. All Harry knew was how to make things uncomfortable and scary. Or maybe that was my subconscious talking because despite my anger towards the boy, I was still, in some way, infatuated with him.

All of a sudden, a flashback crossed my mind and brought an unpleasant feeling along with the memories that I was trying to erase from my consciousness ever since I was little. My childhood went by a blur; I never paid much attention to the little details until a year ago. I was afraid of growing up and decided that the more I engaged in my life, the easier it would be to keep the kid inside of me alive. I had spent a long time going to treatment sessions, mostly to obey my parents, because I was having these horrendous nightmares and everyone thought that they would stop at some point and that is what I made them think. But they never did. They were still here, traumatizing pictures of dead corpses and bloody messes floating in my mind and haunting me all the time, even during the day. They were like a nasty itch that never stops, teasing me on the inside and provoking me, turning me into a neurotic person. But I was never afraid of those dreams, I was afraid of myself, because if I was able to make up all these stories, then what guarantee did I have that I’m not capable of committing such crimes in real life, if I’m pushed into doing it? And there was this thought, this lingering feeling that was constantly tormenting me that I have another personality that I keep asleep during the day and awakes once I fall asleep. I could picture this other part of me as my shadow, a smoky, black, large figure, deliberating itself from my body. I also knew that there was something I was forgetting. Every time. Something was missing, a small piece of what was going on in my head, but I could never manage to figure out what it was. And if you cannot connect all the pieces of your life, you will ever feel the placid world and the happiness that you need.

I sighed deeply, setting my twisted thoughts aside and tossing the sheets on the floor. I lifted my feet and stepped out of the bed, heading towards to door when Harry burst in and before I could ask what this was about, he grabbed my hand and hurriedly and said in an obviously panicked voice :

\- “We need to go.”


End file.
